There is no right or wrong way to feel after you have experienced abuse or harm: your responses are your body and mind’s way of protecting you and processing what has happened. This page discusses how you may be feeling and support you can receive.
The emotional impacts of abuse
Experiencing abuse can have a significant emotional impact. You may feel angry, scared, confused, embarrassed, distressed, or perhaps numb and disconnected. It is okay to be feeling any of these emotions, whether your experience was recent or happened years ago. Your response to your experience is valid, and we are here to support you through whatever emotions come up.
Sometimes experiencing abuse leads to mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, or it can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These conditions can affect aspects of your life, including motivation to engage with the outside world, and can lead to suicidal thoughts or self-harm. These aren’t struggles that you have to face alone, and professionals at EQUISS, in your GP surgery, and in other charities are here to support you through this journey.
You might find that specific words, smells or sensations trigger vivid memories, sometimes called flashbacks. Be patient with yourself, and if possible, remind yourself that you are experiencing a flashback but that you are now safe. PTSD UK has a helpful resource on how to manage flashbacks that may help.
Emotional harm from abuse can impact your sense of self, your confidence and your understanding of reality, which can make you feel less safe. It can take time, effort and support from others to rebuild that confidence, and find your appreciation for yourself again.
There is no fixed timeline for recovery from abuse. Sometimes victim–survivors use coping mechanisms to manage their mental health such as alcohol or substance use – if this has helped you to cope, speaking to a professional can help, without judgement, to unpack what that coping mechanism has given you and how to look after yourself going forward.
Seeking support
If you are struggling or feeling overwhelmed, it is important to remember that you do not have to face difficult emotions alone.
Support is available to you through our confidential support line, where a trusted professional can listen to you and provide advice and guidance.
Confidential support is available 8.30-4.30, Monday-Friday. Access support by submitting this webform.
You can also reach out to medical professionals like your GP, or anonymously to Samaritans who will listen to you without judgement.
If you are currently in a relationship where you feel unsafe, it can be helpful to create a safety plan for different situations. This doesn’t mean that it is your responsibility to stop the abuse, or that it is your fault that harm is happening – that is always the choice of the person who is being harmful or abusive.
Safety planning can be about claiming some control for yourself or feeling prepared to keep yourself safe. There is excellent guidance on safety planning here, but don’t feel that you have to do this alone – EQUISS can support you to feel as safe as possible, led by what you need.
Everyone has their own approach and needs when it comes to emotional wellbeing, self-care and recovery. For some people, meeting other people with similar experiences can be helpful. For others, introducing new self-care activities can make a real difference – exercise or hobbies can allow for time for yourself to reflect, process and relax.
For many, seeking professional therapeutic support can help too. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy has information on seeking therapeutic support and a directory to find qualified therapists in your area.
Access support now
EQUISS confidential support line for equestrians: Coming soon | equiss.org,uk
Refuge 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000247 | nationaldahelpline.org.uk
Rape Crisis England & Wales 24/7 Sexual Abuse Support Line: 0808 500 2222 | 247sexualabusesupport.org.uk
Men’s Advice Line: specialist support for male survivors: 0808 8010327 | mensadviceline.org.uk
Galop - specialist support for LGBT+ survivors: 0800 999 5428 | galop.org.uk
Karma Nirvana - support for honour based abuse: 0800 5999 247 | karmanirvana.org.uk
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300 | suzylamplugh.org
Revenge Porn Helpline: 0345 6000 459 | revengepornhelpline.org.uk
Advocacy After Domestic Abuse – support for those left behind after fatal domestic homicide: 07887 488 464 | aafda.org.uk
Samaritans: 116 123 | samaritans.org
Rights of Women: 020 7251 6575 | rightsofwomen.org.uk
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