Know the signs and what it can feel like.
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What is bullying?
Bullying is when someone tries to use their power or status to humiliate you of make you or make you fearful.
This can happen in many ways, they could:
- Shout at you
- Call you names in front of other people
- Exclude you from groups or ignore you in group settings
- Physically hurt you
- Make comments about your appearance or body shape
- Target or harass you online
- Withhold opportunities from you as “punishment”
- Hide equipment from you
- Prevent you from riding a horse you normally ride for no reason
Am I being bullied?
- Do you feel sick or anxious before a lesson, competition or going to work?
- Are you constantly walking on eggshells, terrified of making a mistake?
- If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing abuse.
- Do you feel like you are given the worst jobs on purpose?
- Do you feel pressured to do things you’re not comfortable with?
- Has anyone criticised your appearance, weight, or body?
- Do you feel left out, ignored or excluded?
- Do you leave lessons feeling upset, sacred or humiliated?
- Have you been told that this is “just the way we do things here”?
- Has anyone shared your private messages or photos online without your permission?
- Do you keep things to yourself because you think no one will understand?
- Have you received any threating or upsetting messages online?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing abuse.
Get Support
Confidential support is available – click here to arrange to arrange a time to talk with our specialist team.
If you’re still not sure, this support is available to you. We can talk through your experiences with you and help you to understand if it is abuse.
What is grooming?
Grooming is when someone builds a close relationship with a child, young person, or vulnerable adult to abuse, manipulate or exploit them.
Often grooming doesn’t feel like abuse at first. The perpetrator builds trust and friendship with you in stages like this:
- They single you out and treat you differently to how they treat other people, giving you special attention or praise
- They build a close relationship with you, spending lots of time with you, talking to you about stuff not related to horses or coaching or work
- They give you special opportunities to go to the top horse shows or competitions
- They give you gifts, extra coaching, free lessons, free equipment to improve your riding, or let you ride the best horses
- They threaten to take away these gifts or opportunities if you tell people about it or want to distance yourself from them
- They support you emotionally and become one of your most trusted people
- They create ways to spend time with you alone, maybe by giving you late night lessons or driving you home
- They say things like “nobody else understands you like I do”
- They isolate you from others or encourage you to stop speaking to friends or family
- They touch your body or frequently physically adjust your riding position
- They make comments about your body
- They make you feel fearful or pressured, maybe by taking photos of you and threatening to share them if you don’t do what they want
Am i being groomed?
- Has your coach or trainer started treating you more like a friend or adult?
- Does your coach, trainer or another adult share their personal problems with you?
- Are you often told you’re more mature, special or different from your friends?
- Have your lessons changed so that you are often alone with one person?
- Do you feel like someone’s favourite and get more attention than others?
- Have you been offered extra rides or opportunities and told not to tell anyone?
- Has someone started to give you gifts, extra privileges that others don’t receive?
- Has a coach, trainer, or trusted adult started to give you lifts in their car?
- Has a coach, trainer or trusted adult asked for your social media handles?
- Has a coach, trainer trusted adult asked to spend time with you outside of training?
- Has someone made you feel they understand you better than your family or friends do?
- Do you feel like you’re drifting away from away from friends of family because of someone else?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing abuse.
Get Support
Confidential support is available – click here to arrange a time to talk with our specialist team.
If you’re still not sure, this support is available to you. We can talk through your experiences with you and help you to understand if it is abuse.
What is abuse?
Abuse is when someone hurts you physically, emotionally or sexually. It can show up in different ways, which you can learn about here: What is abuse?
Am i being abused?
- Do you feel constantly criticised or put down?
- Has someone made you doubt your own feelings or memories?
- Do you feel like your decisions are not your own when you are at the yard, stables, or other equestrian environment?
- Do feel like you are forced to do things you don’t want to do?
- Does something feel wrong, even if you can’t explain why?
- Do you feel like you’re drifting away from away from friends of family because of someone else?
- Do you feel frightened of how someone might react?
- Has someone tried to be physically close to you, and it just doesn’t feel right?
- Has someone touched you in a way that has made you feel uncomfortable?
- Has someone made sexual comments or jokes towards you?
- Has someone talked to you about sex in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?
- Have you ever said yes after first saying no to sexual activity because you just wanted it to stop?
- Has someone hurt you physically, have they pushed, grabbed hit or spat at you?
- Do you feel uncomfortable about a relationship but aren’t sure why?
- Has someone threatened to hurt you or your horse?
- Has someone shared sexual messages images or content with you?
- Do you feel pressured to spend money to keep training, lessons or opportunities?
- Do you feel your wages are often incorrect or irregular, but you’re too scared to challenge it?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing abuse.
Get Support
Confidential support is available – click here to arrange a time to talk with our specialist team.
If you’re still not sure, this support is available to you. We can talk through your experiences with you and help you to understand if it is abuse.
What is exploitation?
Exploitation is when someone takes advantage of you, your body, your money, your time, or your labour to benefit themselves.
Am I being taken advantage of?
- Do you feel like you are expected to work long hours for little or no pay?
- Are you denied pay for working overtime?
- Have you been told that an experience or opportunity is worth more than being paid?
- Has debt made you feel trapped or unable to leave a situation?
- Do you feel unable to say no to someone?
- Do you feel free to leave when you want to?
- Have you been asked to carry something without knowing what it was?
- Do you feel pressured into doing things you don’t want to do?
- Do you feel someone switches between nice and horrible, making you doubt how bad things are?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing abuse.
Get Support
Confidential support is available – click here to arrange a time to talk with our specialist team.
If you’re still not sure, this support is available to you. We can talk through your experiences with you and help you to understand if it is abuse.
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